One in three poeple don't wash there hands after using the restroom. Don't be the one

here's 2 texts i've recieved that have made me laugh.

"Ya man. He said he saw'd his couch apart cuz it was infested! So there's no where to sit"

i reply "watt? wat was wrong with it"

then he reply's "Apperantly where u always sit, there was some sort of odur commin from that seat, and wen scientists with masks came to inspect it they said someone has been peeing and shitting there pants who has been sittin here? So i put to and to together and discovered u nevrr ever got up to use the outhouse?"

 i actaully laughed out loud. word

then the second one was today. its not as good. but i get the humor.

  

i send "Are you alive around there? Are you in for some pizza tonite?"

then reply's 4 hours later. "WOW fell asleep watching Matlock..never happens. Funny u mention pizza , wen u got the bright idea to text me at 930AM! I was in a dream jus about to munch a freshy tasty slice and all of a sudden there's a stupid beep beep beep in the backround, and i awoke and wasn't happy about that. true story. "

those are both word for word. good laughs. oh and i installed in some coo coo's apartment today. she was literally crazy. she loved my shirt. and insisted i find 15 wolves in this big picture. i found 12. owe and she recently won 10 grand playing bingo. she put away half for her funeral. and shes only 30. like i said. coo coo.